(Reprinted from my wordpress.com blog dated April 26, 2010.)
A bit of melancholy settled in yesterday morning when my 4-month-old granddaughter, Kloe, left with her mother. For reasons inappropriate to divulge, she and her daddy–my son– have been living at my home for the past two months. In that two month period, I have run the gamut of nerves, anxiety, sleeplessness, anger, helplessness, and hopelessness. Not one bit of that matters when I walk into their room each morning to see her face smiling up at me, legs and arms flailing in excitement to see me. I believe yesterday I even heard her first giggle. It’s not really as bad as I make it sound here. It is very good that she spend time with her mother and maternal family. If all goes well, she’ll be back in two weeks for another stay. For all of the turmoil, it seems a modicum of peace and civility has risen to the surface. I will survive. This is just me feeling sorry for myself. I’m allowed to wallow for a few minutes.
After a trip to the feed store for chicken feed, my husband surprised me with a trip to my favorite nursery, Giverny Gardens. I had been saying how much I wanted and needed to get out in my own garden. With a baby in the house, moments were not always my own. So for something positive to do and think about, plants and flowers always do the trick. While this is a beautiful picture below (from their website) it really does not do justice to their nursery. They were chock full of spring flowers. I could have easily spent hundreds of dollars (or more) and still wanted more. They even had foxgloves and delphiniums….just gorgeous. Even though tempted, I did not get either as their lifespan is so short here. I did enjoy seeing them in person though. It may have been the first time I have ever seen a real foxglove. It was beautiful. I do have my eye on a few rambling roses though. I am not sure they are on Fortuniana rootstock though. They probably are not, but I will have to give them a try anyway. It says to prune them every 3 to 4 weeks. They must really take off. At 20 bucks a pop, I’ll have to wait a couple of weeks and hope they are still there. Is five of them too many? I think not.
I did get a few things though and happily went home and puttered. The trip there was absolutely worth it.
My mom used to have several orchids growing in a mahogany tree in our backyard. She said God took care of them because she would just put them in the lower branches of the tree and they were on their own from there. They thrived in the dappled shade, slightly moving air, and humidity. I feel the same way about how my garden looks right now. Flowers are busting out all over. The Confederate jasmine is covered. Roses are in bud. I cannot take credit for it as it has been months since I’ve been out there. However, yesterday, it felt wonderful to do even just a few things. The compost tumbler was emptied and its contents spread about. The plants reap the benefit from the kitchen scraps plus “leftovers” from the rabbits and chickens. I took out my past-its-prime ornamental kale, planted my new plants, and even some seeds. It might be a bit late in the season for that, but I have this mentality that in Florida we have a year-round gardening season and I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I may get a surprise or two when those seedlings don’t thrive in our already warm spring. Still, it felt good to do it.
I don’t get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. None of us do. No matter our age, we still keep trying though. I was reminded of that when I gave Kloe her millionth kiss goodbye yesterday morning. The young have the luxury of having a tantrum. My tantrum will be in the energy I put into my projects for the next few weeks. Still, there is a peacefulness to knowing I don’t always get to have my way, that I don’t have control over everything, that I need to let it go. I will change that to let it grow instead and see what happens.
Gardening is about enjoying the smell of things growing in the soil, getting dirty without feeling guilty, and generally taking the time to soak up a little peace and serenity. ~Lindley Karstens, noproblemgarden.com